An Inquiry Into the Theory of the John Bounce

Summary

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IN ALL the analysis of John Kerry's selection of John Edwards as his running mate, the so-called experts completely overlooked one all-important question about the impact of this choice on the U.S. electorate: Could the Democratic ticket help restore the name "John" to its once preeminent position in American nomenclature?

I became a John when John was big. In 1963, the year I was born, John was tied for second place on the list of most popular names given to infants, according to the Social Security Administration's Baby Names Web site. But now, John's just a Johnny-come-lately. Over the last four decades, it has fallen precipitously in the rankings - to seventh in 1980 (despite the presidential candidacy of John Connally; but then, he was the man who famously spent $1 million to win one delegate to the GOP convention that year), 11th in 1990, and ultimately to the relatively lowly position of No. 17 in the most recent rankings, from 2003.

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An Inquiry Into the Theory of the John Bounce

As a father of girls only, I've been unable personally to help stem this decline. And if I were to be so tempted, I need only recall the famous warning issu...

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